Be Safe

On the way out the door tonight:

Laura: Be safe.
Sophia: She said, "Be safe."
Me: Yup, we don't want anybody to get hurt.
Sophia: I won't hurt you. I'm a nice girl.
Me: I'm feeling safer already : )

Knock Knock. Who Who?

We're teaching Sophia a new knock-knock joke because she's worn out the "Boo, who?" / "Why are you crying?" one:
Laura: Knock, knock.
Sophia: Who's there?
Laura: Who.
Sophia: Who?
Laura: No, you say, "Who, who?"
Sophia: Are you an owl?
Me: Haha, she turned it on you!....

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreaming Toddler

Sophia: Mama can I take a class?
Laura: What kind of class?
Sophia: A class where I can sing “Joseph”?
Laura: I think that’s called a choir, but you’d have to sing other things besides “Joseph”...
(Sophia looks very unhappy about this.)

Cottage Cheese Angel

My daughter is an angel, 
a cottage cheese licking, flinging, stomping, head-butting, freaking out for more food when she's got plenty already little angel. 
So after some time-out:

Me: What do you say, honey?
Sophia: Sorry.
Me: Sorry for what?
Sophia: What did I do?....

(You see? An innocent little angel ; )

Twizzlers

I buy Twizzlers at the video rental store:
Sophia: Those are naughty treats.
Me: Yes they are.
Sophia: They’re very naughty.
Me: I know.
Sophia: Can you give me some?
Me: But they’re naughty treats.
Sophia: I love them so much.
Me: I do too, honey....

Bad Dream Buffet

Sophia: I had a bad dream last night.
Laura: What did you dream?
Sophia: I dreamed that there was a chicken in my bed...and then there was ketchup in my bed...and then there was tea in my bed...and then there was soup in my bed, and I couldn't clean it up.
Laura: It sounds like a nightmare for me.
(I better go check her bed...)

Love Schmuv

Sophia: What rhymes with "loves"?
Me: Loves, doves, gloves, schmuvs.
Sophia: Does "moms" rhyme with "loves"?
Me: No, but close enough.

"Close Every Door To Me"

Laura's Post:

Got an insight into the emotional life of a toddler in the car tonight.

Sophia: (taking a break from singing with great gusto "Close Every Door to Me") Why is Joseph so sad? Because his brothers took his coat and threw him in a hole and took him to Egypt and put him in jail?

Me: I think that must have made him pretty sad and angry and frustrated, too.

Sophia: I feel just like Joseph when you tell me "No!"...

(Explains a lot. Perspective comes at what age?)

Did Achilles Heal?

I distinctly remember the first time I discovered my dad's Achilles heel. (Hint: it wasn't his heel.) I was a child, we were wrestling, and one wallop to his privates ended the fun for the evening. My father was a mere mortal....

Well, tonight my daughter painfully reminded me of that tragic day. 

After the innocent accident, she let me alone to suffer with some dignity, then later returned with a peace offering: 

"Here's a pillow so I don't hurt you." 

Sweet girl.

Cinderella Penguin

Laura's Post:

Sophia: You can be Cinderella Penguin, and I can be Wicked Stepsister Penguin, and Daddy can be Wicked Stepmother Penguin, too.

Me: That doesn't sound like a lot of fun.

Sophia: You have to do ALL the work at your house.

Me: Sounds like a typical Tuesday night. Are you at least going to be nice to me?

Sophia: No. I'm going to be wicked! I'm going to be very angry when I come into the kitchen!

(This book is going back to the library tomorrow.)

Snuggly Problems

"Daddy isn't snuggly because he's too skinny."
(Huh? It must be opposite day.)

Crazy Phrases

Laura's Post:

Crazy things I have had to say today: 

"Don't put the toilet seat on your head!" 
"Please tell your kitchen to stop talking to you so we can both sleep!" 
"No, I don't want to turn you into a pie and eat you!" 
"I'm not sure the snails are getting married, but they are making a baby"...

Brought By The Letter U

My wake up call this morning:
Sophia says, "Today's letter on Sesame Street was brought by the letter W.
Look there's another letter! I found the letter U! The letter U!..."
(I open my groggy eyes in time to see her pick up a mouth guard from the nightstand...)

Frosting Rant

"I like cake!"

No, she doesn't like cake. I like cake. 

She just likes eating the frosting off the top of her cake. 
That's a different thing altogether. 

She cried when I attempted to spoon feed her some actual cake, 
Even though there was frosting on it. 

It's not just her. All the toddlers at her cousin's birthday party have frosting-face, 
And all I could think the whole time was, "They're doing it wrong!"

Sorry, for my frosting rant. 
I'm just suffering from a birthday cake sugar crash...

Abuelita Love

While visiting my parents this weekend, Sophia said possibly the most endearing thing a grandchild could say to a grandparent: 

"Bita, I want to stay with you forever!"

Wet Water

Me: Here's your water.
Sophia: I don't want to drink water. It's too wet.

Laughing Gas

Sophia told us that her teacher suddenly passed gas in class and the teacher's wife expressed great disapproval about it.

The story was so unexpected that Laura laughed hard until she was crying streams of tears flowing down her face, which of course made us laugh even more than the story...