The Missing Gene

"Why am I just not created to say please?..."

Jesus Love vs Moon Love

"Mommy, I love you to Jesus and back. But when I'm mad at you, I only love you up to the moon..."

The Babysitter

Driving home from the babysitter's house:

Me: Did you have fun tonight?
S: Yes.
Me: What was your favorite thing you did?
S: Watch movies...
Me: What was your least favorite thing?
S: Saying goodbye.

We'll be keeping this babysitter's number handy : )

The Skin of Unbelief

S: Daddy, I'm done eating my potato!
Me: Good job, honey.
S: Except the skin. I didn't eat the skin.
Me: Okay.
S: I don't believe in skin...

Cry Babies

A Trump rally is playing on the TV in the living room, while I'm in the kitchen preparing dinner:

S: Why do I have to listen to the Cry Baby!
Me: Who's a cry baby?
S: Donald Trump is a cry baby, and he whines.
Me: Who told you that?
S: Obama said Donald Trump is a cry baby on the news the other day. I heard him...

Wow. I didn't pay attention to politics until I was eighteen...Sorry, honey. Let's turn this off...We could use less whining around here...

Mad Math!

S: Daddy, Thalia and I are doing Math.
Me: How fun!
S: When we're mad, we get together and do Math.
Me: When you're mad?
S: Yes, when we're mad we do math because it makes us happy.

That's funny. Math always made me go mad. I'm glad to see that someone got the Math gene...

Soda Love

S: Daddy, do you know what I love more than anything in the world?
Me: What.
S: Soda. 
Me: Wow. More than chocolate?
S: Yes.
Me: More than cake?
S: Yes.
Me: More than candy?
S: Yes.
Me: Wow.
S: But not more than you.
Me:  Oooooh! That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard!...

We've raised her well (except for the giving her so much sugar part : )

Not a Boy!

Sophia thinks we're going to have a baby girl in April:

Laura: What if it's a boy?
S: I don't want a boy!
Laura: Why not?
S: Because I'd be rude to him...

Haha. We'll know for sure in December whether or not she needs to begin sensitivity training...

Bad Words

I changed the radio station in the car:

S: Why did you change that song? I liked that song!
Me: I didn't like that song because the singer was swearing.
S: What does swearing mean?
Me: Swearing is saying bad words.
S: What bad words?
Me: Uhh, really bad words that would get you in trouble with your teacher if you said them at school. I don't want you to get in trouble.
S: Like what bad words? Tell me, please. Pleeeease!
Me: I'm not ready to teach you any swear words, honey. Maybe when you're a little older we'll talk about it.
S: But you said swear words! I heard you! You said bad words!
Me: I did? Like what!
S: You said, "I swear!" I heard you!
Me: I said that I swear? What word did you hear me say?
S: No, you said, "I swear!" Just like that. "I swear." I heard you say that! You shouldn't say that!...

At that point, I realized that I must have muttered "I swear!" under my breath about something annoying me. I can't remember what about, though...Nevertheless, Sophia's scandalized reaction struck me as hysterically funny, and I laughed uncontrollably for a bit. She laughed along unwittingly. 

When I finally settled down, I gave her a basic primer on how words can be good, bad, or somewhere in between, depending on the word and the situation:

Me: Like the word "poop," for example.
S: Hahaha! "Poop!" Hahaha!...

OK. Bad words training is off to a crappy start...