Biting Rhetoric

Sophia was complaining about itchy insect bites on her skin. I suggested that maybe they're mosquito bites since they're out now.

Sophia: No! Not one mosquito! Many mosquitoes!
Me: What?
Sophia: You said "mosquito bites." I have many bites so you should say "mosquitoes' bites!"...

The problem of having two English teachers for parents is that grammar is always a battlefield with this child.

Getting Sophia's Attention

Sophia was deep into her book on our family road trip today. Thalia was nearly in tears trying to get her attention:

Thalia: Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia!...Why won't she hear me?
Laura: Sophia, Thalia is trying to talk to you.
Me: No, let her be. I'm counting how many times Thalia has to call her name to get her attention.
Thalia: Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia, Phia!
Sophia: What, Thalia! 
Me: 15 times!
Thalia: I'm trying to talk to you, Phia!
Sophia: I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you. I'm reading. What do you want?
Thalia: Ummm....

Sophia's First Ballet Recital

Me: Sophia, you were wonderful! Great job! It was such a joy to watch you perform!

Sophia: Thank you!

Laura: You even made Daddy cry.

Me: I was crying like a baby!

Sophia: You were crying?

Laura: And baby Freya was crying too.

Sophia: Why?

Me: Because she is a baby!...

I Want Bacon

Sophia: (stands in front of me while I'm on the couch and begins gesturing for some odd reason)
Me: I don't know what that means.
Sophia: I...want...bacon.
Me: Bacon? Who taught you that?
Sophie: My friend. She also taught me how to sign pancakes and this means hamburger.
Me: How do you know that sign means bacon?
Sophia: I just know. Everybody knows that. The boys sign that at recess.
Me: Everybody signs bacon at recess?
Sophia: Yes.

To think I wasted my kindergarten recess in a sandbox when I could have been trading ASL brunch signs with my buddies...sigh...

The Jump Rope Fallacy

Thalia: Stop hitting me! Stop hitting me! Stop hitting me!
Me: Sophia! Stop hitting your sister!
Sophia: I'm not hitting her!
Me: What?
Sophia: The jump rope is hitting her!...