Pie-sicle!

Sophia: Do you have a pie-sicle

Me: A bicycle?...I have a big one out back.
Sophia: Ooh, yummy!
Me: Oh, a Popsicle!..No, I'm sorry, I don't have a Popsicle.
Sophia: Oh... Can you buy me a pie-sicle at the store?
Me: Yes.
Sophia: Ooh, yummy! : )

The Awkward Waddle

With tightly pursed lips and her eyes wide open,
She waddles awkwardly towards me. 
I anxiously ask her if she's had an accident in her pants. 
She says, "No, I'm a penguin!" 
(Phew!)

Favorites 2013

FAVORITE SHOWS: Elmo, Biscuit, Caillou, Daniel Tiger....

FAVORITE PHRASES:

"Dat one."
"What's dat?"
"Where's da man?"
"Don't like dat man!"
"Scary"
"Carry you!"
"Mines!"
"Sorry!"
"I can do it All By Myself!"

FAVORITE WORDS:
"adda" (iPod)
"baboon" (balloon)
"backpack" (alpaca)
"chepup" (ketchup)
"kangaroos" (giraffes)
"pollypop" (lollypop)
"purple" (crayon)
"pie-sicle" (Popsicle)

The Winner!

• I walk out of the bathroom and my daughter cheers, "Yay! Daddy went potty. Now he gets a sticker on the chart!" (Feeling like a champion : )

Eating Seriously

Me: Do you want to eat some serious, I mean cereal?
Sophia: Yes, I want to eat serious.
Me: No, cereal.
Sophia: No, serious.
Me: How about toast? Do you want to eat toast?
Sophia: No, I want serious.
Me: Seriously?
Sophia: Yes.
(Sigh....She settles for Cheerios, a teaspoon of honey, and half of it on the floor : )

Do you want to hear a joke?

Sophia: Do you want to hear a joke?
Me: Yes, tell me a joke.
Sophia: Hissss!
Me: Ok, that's your joke?
Sophia: Hissss!
Me: How is that a joke?
Sophia: It's a snake. It's not a banana! (She throws her head back and laughs hard.)
Me: Ok, I get it. That's funny. 
Sophia: It's not a banana! Hahahaha!

A Bouncy Lepidopterampoline

Me: What are those things? Moths?
Sophia: No, they're butter-fleas.

The Resin for the Season

Sophia: I was listening to Christmas tree music!

So Far Today...

"Don't draw on the trampoline," 
"Don't throw your panty into the toilet," and 
"Don't eat what you find in your car seat." 
(It's a good day : )

Narcissism, or just calling it like you see It?

Sophia: I looked in the mirror and it was so beautiful!
Laura: Confidence is not something our daughter is lacking.

Rock-a-Bye Baby

Me: Be very gentle when you're rocking the baby, okay?
Sophia: It's a toy baby, Daddy.
Me: Then pretend to be gentle.

New Daddy Rule

No more drinks when sitting on Daddy's lap for story time.
Thank you for your cooperation.

Almost Happy

Sophia: Wipe my tears, Daddy! Wipe my tears!
(I hand her a tissue. She wipes her tears away.)
Sophia: I'm almost happy now.
Me: Why are you crying?
Sophia: Because Mama's mad.
Me: Why is Mama mad?
Sophia: Because I'm angry.
Me: Why are you angry?
Sophia: Because she put me in time out!
Me: Are you happy now?
Sophia: No. I'm almost happy.
(I hand her more tissue....)

Date Night

Me: Do you want to go on a date Friday night?
Laura: Yes, I want a date!
Sophia: I want a date!
Laura: You want a date?
Sophia: Yeah.
Laura: Oh, a date! Ha ha.
(Laura hands her a date.)
Sophia: Thank you, Mama.

Crouching Tiger

While Laura is cleaning the stove top, Sophia is poking and scratching at Laura from behind:
Sophia: I'm a tiger, Mama. Rawr!
Laura: I don't know how I feel about you poking my bottom.
Sophia: You like it. Rawr!

Daddy's Eyes

A post from Kristin Mannes and her dog Zoey:

Sophia: "Zoey has eyes"
Kristin: "Yes, Zoey has eyes. Do you have eyes?"
Sophia: "Yes, I have Daddy's eyes."

A Doctor in the House

Laura: Do you want to be a doctor some day?
Sophia: I am a doctor!

99 Bottles of Milk

At breakfast:
Me: Eat your toast, honey.
Sophia: I'm scared, Daddy. I'm scared.
Me: Maybe we should go back to bed.
Sophia: I'm not scared...I'm happy. I'm happy, Daddy. (She begins singing the ABC song to the tune of "99 bottles of 'milk' on the wall.")

MYOB

While conducting business over the phone, there's nothing like having one's toddler insisting repeatedly in the background, "You're too noisy! Shhh. Shhh! Be quiet! You're too noisy!" (sigh)