The Naughty Gene

Laura: Where do you get your naughtiness from? 
Sophia: Daddy.

Later on...

Me: Okay. Keep it down, please. I need to make a phone call.
Laura: Get ready to scream, Thalia.
Thalia: Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!
Me: Thanks for that.
Laura: Hahahaha.
Me: Who was it again who passed on the naughty gene?
Laura: Daddy.
Sophia: Daddy!
Thalia: Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!...

See what I'm up against here?!

The Polystyrene Problem

You know how kids love to play with cardboard boxes? Well, Sophia and Thalia decided it would be more fun to play with the styrofoam packing, the kind that easily breaks apart into tiny polystyrene pebbles that spread everywhere and cling statically to everything and takes forever to clean up thoroughly.

When I saw our living room in a state of emergency! Ooooooh! Not cool! Not at all cool!...

Thalia was banished to her playpen because she was attempting to eat the foam pebbles, and Sophia was sent to clean up her bedroom because we didn't want her to see how terribly annoyed we were...

The reason we didn't catch the disaster in time? Laura was doing laundry and I (I kid you not) was very intently reading an Internet news editorial about 100 plus cities in California officially banning polystyrene. (The coincidence did not strike me as funny at the time.)

Later in the evening, after the house had been cleaned, dinner had been served, and good tempers had been restored...

Sophia: Why were you so frustrated?
Laura: Because that was the worst mess I had ever seen in my life!
Sophia: That was the worst? It could have been worser. What if the bookshelf and the table fell down, too, and all the books...
Laura: Okay, Sophia, this is not a competition!...

P.S. I am still finding pieces to clean up two weeks later! Arrrgh!...

A Christmas Eve Story

Several children sit in rapt attention in the first two rows of the church as I read to them the Christmas story during our Christmas Eve service. I speak enthusiastically as I pace to and fro with the book pages held open for them to see the colorful illustrations of the animals of Bethlehem gathering together on this special night long ago: 

"...It's time! It's time!" the animals say to one another with great anticipation!

I suddenly feel a little kick on my shin. Ow. I must have been bumped accidentally by a kid in the front row. I ignore it and keep reading.

The animals sing out, "The One who made us has come to live with us!"

Ow. Another kick on the shin when I return to the left side of the room. Who is doing that? But I ignore it because I am really into my dramatic presentation...

"A Light to light up the whole world!"

Ow! This time it really hurt. I pause from my story to look down at the mischievous giggling imp who dares to kick me, the Christmas story reader, in front of the whole church, in the middle of this sacred time-honored tradition...

"Sophia!" I whisper with a withering look. "Stop kicking me!"
"Okay!" she whispers back.

"And they gazed in wonder at God's great gift!..."

After the service, a friend tells me how great it was to see Sophia kicking me. The moment made him feel a little better about his own parenting.

Well, at least someone was inspired this holy night...

The Cereal Dance

Me: Sophia, why are you twirling around in a circle with a bowl of cereal!
S: I'm not spilling!
Me: Go eat at the table before you spill milk everywhere!...

She pouts all the way back to the table with her bowl of Chex cradled in her arm. I'm impressed, actually, that her dance was spill free.

A Meaningful Conversation

My first conversation before coffee this morning: 

S: Do you want Christmas music playing now or later?
Me: Uh, when I'm done making coffee I'll put Christmas music on.
S: That's what I meant.
Me: Okay.
S: What does meant mean?
Me: Meant means that's what you mean.
S: What does mean mean?
Me: Mean means that's what you're saying.
S: Mean means that's what I'm saying?
Me: Yes.
S: Oh, I see what you mean...

At least one of us does...
.
The quality of our conversation didn't get much better after my coffee...

Georgie Porgie

Sophia was complaining the other day about a little boy at her school who was trying to kiss girls on the playground. She understood that his behavior was not appropriate. Laura encouraged her to ask him why he does that.

Well, she asked the boy why he tries to kiss the girls:

Boy: Because when I'm at school, I miss my mom, and kissing people makes me feel better.
Sophia: Well, you can't kiss people, but you can hug them.
Boy: I don't know who to hug.
Sophia: You can hug your good friend.

Then the little boy turned around and hugged her, haha...

The 5 Year Plan

S: My friend told me that when I'm ten I can have a boyfriend.
Laura: Ten is too young to have a boyfriend. Maybe when you're twenty-one when you're done with college.
S: No, my friend said when I'm ten I can have a boyfriend.
Laura: Well, Mommy and Daddy aren't going to let you have a boyfriend when you're ten.
S: I'll keep it a secret...

 oh boy...

The Grocery List

Sophia saw Thalia scribbling on Mommy's grocery list, so she asked if she could add a couple more items. Her list was a little cryptic, so I had it translated: 

"A Balloon
Cupcakes
I demand them, please"

If I didn't know better, I'd think it's an extortion letter! Maybe I should get the FBI involved...

No Idea

Me: What's this yellow stuff in this cup?
S: I have no ideer.
Me: You mean you have no idea?
S: No, I said I have no ideer. Didn't you hear what I said?
Me: Yes, that's just a weird way to say it. Who taught you that?
S: I have no ideeer...

Sigh...as an English teacher, little pains me more than my own kin sounding like a backwoods yokel...Laura just confessed that it's a British pronunciation. Sophia got it from her, haha!

Planters Tropical Fruit & Nut Trail Mix

Thalia and I are enjoying a bag of Planters Tropical Fruit & Nut Trail Mix that I found sitting on top of her stroller. Sophia sits down to snack with us:

S: I love that snack!
Me: Oh yeah? Me too.
S: Can I have some?
Me: Yes.
S: Did you know it has delicious white chocolate, uhh, white chocolate covered, uhh, white chocolate...
Me: Do you mean yogurt covered raisins?
S: Yes! Yogurt covered raisins! They're delicious!
Me: How come I don't see any in the bag.
S: I ate them all....

I give her the stink eye, less because she ate them all, more because I would rather not have known what I was missing, and now my Planters Tropical Fruit & Nut Trail Mix experience is substandard! She cares not for my pain...She just laughs and asks for another handful...

Why I Champion the Arts

Laura's Post:

S: Look, Mama, I made a fruit fly habitat and an ant habitat...
Me: Wow.
S: ...in my room.

Her fruit fly habitat was a half eaten apple in a mug of water...

The Uncountable Shoes

Sophia volunteered to reorganize the shoe closet:

S: Mommy has too much shoes in here!
Laura: It's too many shoes.
S: I know! You have really much shoes in here!
Laura: Say too many shoes, not much shoes. Say too many when you can count them. 
S: But I can't count them because there are too much shoes in here!...

Bipartisan Cheerleader

Sophia was shouting political chants in the house that she had picked up on the playground at school today:

S: Yay, Donald Trump! Yay, Donald Trump!...
Laura: Sophia, stop that!
S: Yay, Hillary Clinton! Yay, Hillary Clinton!...
Laura: Sophia! No matter whose name it is, when you shout it repeatedly, it's really annoying...

Right. Plus the fact that after a year and a half of relentless political rhetoric, I'm ready to move on...Really. Ready. To move on...

Election Day!

On the way to the polling place:

S: Who are you voting for, Daddy?
Me: Actually, honey, I like to keep that private.
S: How come?
Me: Because too many people can't talk about who to vote for without getting angry.
S: I knew you were going to say that.
Me: Maybe you should keep it private, too.
S: No, I don't keep that private.

I knew she was going to say that...Another reason why I keep my vote private. Haha...

Dirty Liars!

In a gas station unisex bathroom, Laura tells Sophia not to touch the bathroom key once she has washed her hands:
S: Why?
Laura: Because people take it into the bathroom, and they don't wash their hands.
S: You mean they lie to their mothers!...

The Missing Gene

"Why am I just not created to say please?..."

Jesus Love vs Moon Love

"Mommy, I love you to Jesus and back. But when I'm mad at you, I only love you up to the moon..."

The Babysitter

Driving home from the babysitter's house:

Me: Did you have fun tonight?
S: Yes.
Me: What was your favorite thing you did?
S: Watch movies...
Me: What was your least favorite thing?
S: Saying goodbye.

We'll be keeping this babysitter's number handy : )

The Skin of Unbelief

S: Daddy, I'm done eating my potato!
Me: Good job, honey.
S: Except the skin. I didn't eat the skin.
Me: Okay.
S: I don't believe in skin...

Cry Babies

A Trump rally is playing on the TV in the living room, while I'm in the kitchen preparing dinner:

S: Why do I have to listen to the Cry Baby!
Me: Who's a cry baby?
S: Donald Trump is a cry baby, and he whines.
Me: Who told you that?
S: Obama said Donald Trump is a cry baby on the news the other day. I heard him...

Wow. I didn't pay attention to politics until I was eighteen...Sorry, honey. Let's turn this off...We could use less whining around here...

Mad Math!

S: Daddy, Thalia and I are doing Math.
Me: How fun!
S: When we're mad, we get together and do Math.
Me: When you're mad?
S: Yes, when we're mad we do math because it makes us happy.

That's funny. Math always made me go mad. I'm glad to see that someone got the Math gene...

Soda Love

S: Daddy, do you know what I love more than anything in the world?
Me: What.
S: Soda. 
Me: Wow. More than chocolate?
S: Yes.
Me: More than cake?
S: Yes.
Me: More than candy?
S: Yes.
Me: Wow.
S: But not more than you.
Me:  Oooooh! That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard!...

We've raised her well (except for the giving her so much sugar part : )

Not a Boy!

Sophia thinks we're going to have a baby girl in April:

Laura: What if it's a boy?
S: I don't want a boy!
Laura: Why not?
S: Because I'd be rude to him...

Haha. We'll know for sure in December whether or not she needs to begin sensitivity training...

Bad Words

I changed the radio station in the car:

S: Why did you change that song? I liked that song!
Me: I didn't like that song because the singer was swearing.
S: What does swearing mean?
Me: Swearing is saying bad words.
S: What bad words?
Me: Uhh, really bad words that would get you in trouble with your teacher if you said them at school. I don't want you to get in trouble.
S: Like what bad words? Tell me, please. Pleeeease!
Me: I'm not ready to teach you any swear words, honey. Maybe when you're a little older we'll talk about it.
S: But you said swear words! I heard you! You said bad words!
Me: I did? Like what!
S: You said, "I swear!" I heard you!
Me: I said that I swear? What word did you hear me say?
S: No, you said, "I swear!" Just like that. "I swear." I heard you say that! You shouldn't say that!...

At that point, I realized that I must have muttered "I swear!" under my breath about something annoying me. I can't remember what about, though...Nevertheless, Sophia's scandalized reaction struck me as hysterically funny, and I laughed uncontrollably for a bit. She laughed along unwittingly. 

When I finally settled down, I gave her a basic primer on how words can be good, bad, or somewhere in between, depending on the word and the situation:

Me: Like the word "poop," for example.
S: Hahaha! "Poop!" Hahaha!...

OK. Bad words training is off to a crappy start...

c'est la vie!

"Without life, we don't live!"

so true, child, so true

A Hairy Situation

S: Daddy, will I have hair on my legs someday?
Me: Yes.
S: But I don't want hair on my legs!
Me: Why not? It looks great and keeps you warm and it feels kind of fuzzy.
S: Nooooooo! I don't want to be a man!
Me: Honey, it's normal for women to have hair on their legs....
S: I still don't want hair on my legs.
Me: Did you know that some women don't have hairy legs?...
S: They don't? Maybe I won't have hair on my legs.
Me: You probably will.
S: Noooooo!....

The Menu

"The food that is left on my plate are the parts I don't like, the parts I don't think anyone likes. It's not a part of my recipe, I mean, my menu...."

Spitfire Girl

S: I didn't spit on Thalia today.
Me: Uhh, I hope you didn't spit on anyone today!
S: I didn't! I didn't spit on anyone today!
Me: Why are we talking about this?

Apparently, there was some spitting going on yesterday. Don't ask... : p

The Announcement

Good Report

Laura's Post:

Me: Did your teachers read you a story today?
S: Yes, lots of stories. But they didn't cry.
Me: Because they weren't sad stories?
S: No. I mean they didn't cry even though some teachers got to read more stories than others...

The Spider's Gone

Sophia shouts out from the bathroom, "Oh no! Where's the spider! The spider's gone!"

I expect her to scream and run out of the bathroom in fear of her life like she usually does, but she doesn't.

"I'm so sad! The spider's gone!"

"You're sad? I thought you were afraid of spiders."

"I am afraid of spiders, but I liked this spider. He was my friend. I named him Blacky. This was his home, and now he's gone."

"You named him what?"

"I named him Blacky."

"Blocky?"

"No, Blacky."

I bet you the spider left because of the sketchy name...

Her Business Plan

Laura asks Sophia to do something:
S: "I can't do that because I'm in the business of eating..."

Obfuscating the Painting

My daughter's bedroom door is smeared with faint swirls of white paint:

Me: Sophia, did you paint the door?
S: NO. Well, yes. I didn't paint the door with a paintbrush. Only with my hands... (proceeds to explain an elaborate scenario...)
Me: It was an accident?
S: Yes, I didn't mean to do it on purpose...

The Lilliputians

Why can't an exhausted daddy take a nap on the living room floor without being treated like a trampoline by his children? 

Eventually, they leave me alone and let me sleep while they play with their dolls.

When I awake...

Me: Why is there a green bowl next to my face?
S: The green bowl is there in case you have to throw up.
Me: Why would I have to throw up?
S: Just in case.

Then Baby Thalia hooks her sharp little fingers into my nose from behind and yanks me a couple of times as if to drag me across the carpet floor.

Me: OWWW!

S: How come you sound so grumpy, Daddy?
Me: Why am I so grumpy? Just, just let me wake up at my own pace and have a cup of coffee before I answer that!...

The Handling Man

At the park, Sophia commented on a man passing by with his baby in a baby carrier and his dog on a leash: 

"Look at that man. He is carrying a baby, AND he has a dog. He is handling all that AND his wife!"

Laura laughed uncontrollably...

The Hulk Baby

S: Daddy! Quick! Come here! It's an emergency!
Me: Coming!
S: No, don't come! It's not an emergency! Don't come!
Me: I'm coming!...What happened?
S: Oh, Thalia just tore the cabinet door off. She's not doing it anymore...
(I explained to Sophia that her instinct to call me when The Hulk baby makes an appearance is always the correct response.)

Seagull Hunting

Laura's Post:

Sophia and I are sitting on a bench at the Civic Center watching the birds and the golden sunset, feeling at peace with the world.

Sophia: (with a serene look on her face) I think I need to kill a seagull.
Me: What!
Sophia: Well I want to get some feathers, so I think the best way is to just kill the bird to get them. Uh huh. That will work.

Laura Ingalls Wilder strikes again. Sophia and Mark have been reading about hog slaughter this week. Turns out you can have too much pioneer spirit...

Wake Up, Big Sister!

Baby Thalia is up early.
Baby Thalia is bored.
Baby Thalia wants to play with big sister Sophia.
Baby Thalia climbs into big sister Sophia's bed.

Big sister Sophia just wants to be left alone to sleep in this morning.

Baby Thalia finds a bedside glass of water and pours it on big sister Sophia's blankets.
Big sister Sophia is up!
Baby Thalia is so happy!
Big sister Sophia is really, really mad!

Sleepy Daddy comes in to see what all the yelling is about.
Sleepy Daddy is trying not to laugh at the situation.

Sleepy Daddy and Baby Thalia go to the kitchen together to make toast and coffee so big sister Sophia can dry off and be in a better mood...

Vertebrates and Stuff

Reading about insects not having backbones:

Laura:...Insects are invertebrates, but we have backbones so we are vertebrates.
S: Tigey is an invertebrate.
Laura: Well, I don't know. That's an interesting question. Tigers have backbones, so they're vertebrates, but Tigey doesn't have a backbone.
S: It doesn't have a backbone because it's a stuffed animal.

Right. Sophia often needs to remind us that Tigey isn't real...

In the Toilet

Laura's Post:

2:09 PM: I look up from my clinic reports: both sisters are playing happily together with the FisherPrice kitchen. Thalia takes a break to push the stroller contentedly around the living room.

2:10 PM: My next sentence is interrupted by Mark's voice from the bathroom: "Why is Thalia playing in the toilet? Sophia, why are you naked?"

Things do indeed fall apart so quickly. Now I'm laughing too hard to write about comprehension strategies.

Serious Danger

Me: Honey, you have to remember to look both ways when you're crossing the street! You have to always look out for cars! OK? They're very dangerous.
S: My friend Ben knows a lot about dinosaurs. He said that dinosaurs can eat people.
Me: Honey, I'm talking about cars right now. Why are you talking about dinosaurs?
S: Because dinosaurs are dangerous, too!...

Up?

"Why is my balloon not lifting me up?"
"That's just in the movies, honey."
"Oh."

A Rose Explosion

At the VBS registration table this morning:

Registrar: What's your name?
S: Sophia.
Registrar: What's your last name?
S: (silence)
Registrar: What's your last name?
S: (awkward silence)
Me: Say your last name, honey.
S: (whispering to me) I forgot.
Me: (mortified, I whisper to her the prefix of her family surname to give her a clue) Roze—
S: Roze. (the registrar begins looking down the list of names)
Me: (still mortified, I whisper to Sophia the second half) —boom!
S: Boom!
Registrar: OK, Sophia Rose. At least you remembered your middle name! I'll look for Boom on the list.
Me: It's Rozeboom. Her last name is Rozeboom...

Seriously? Where did I go wrong? She knows her numbers and letters, her colors, her address...But her last name she forgets? 

Later, when I pick her up, I ask what that was all about. She shrugs: "I forgot."

For the record, my adopted family name means "rose tree" in Dutch. If it helps, just picture a rose blowing up. 

Rozeboom!

The Toy Experiment

Thalia runs past with impish glee holding two markers in her hand.

S: Daddy! Thalia took my markers!
Me: Can you let her play with them? Look how happy she is.
S: But I'm coloring and I need those colors! See, she's trying to get more markers!
Me: Do you really think she wants your markers?
S: Yes!
Me: Let's experiment. Quietly, go play with the blocks over there, and we'll see if she keeps playing with the markers.

Sophia slips away to play with the blocks. Two seconds later, Thalia toddles over excitedly to join her. The cutest thing ever.

Me: Do you still think she wants to play with the markers?
S: No, she wants to play with the blocks.
Me: Is that what she really wants?
S: No, she wants to play with me.
Me: Yes, she's surrounded by all her wonderful toys that she could play with, but they're no fun without you! Isn't that wonderful? Look how cute she is the way she looks up to you and wants to play with you!
S: Yes, she's really cute! But I still want to color...

Right. I get it. They're four years apart and big sister needs her space right now. No problem. 

They really do get along playing together most of the time. I'm just glad for this opportunity Sophia has to recognize how adored she is by her little sister. I hope they continue to appreciate the lifetime value of sisterhood by having a blast building fun, healthy, non-combative memories each day, with or without toys, or our minimal coercion. I suspect that it's a special relationship that will foster itself as long as we parents respect each child's desire for personal space when she needs it.

Meanwhile, Sophia isn't coloring with her precious markers. Instead, they begin dancing together to Veggietales Radio on Pandora...

And now Thalia is pulling books off the shelf, which is my cue to stop writing and go play with my kids...

Blah, Blah! Who Cares!

Sophia hates picking up the toys and wants to know why I make her do it. I explain that the carpet gets really dirty and gross after awhile and it is much easier to clean when the toys are put away.

In response, she chants quietly but annoyingly, "Blah, blah! Who cares! Blah, blah! Who cares!..."

Wow! What friend or cartoon character taught her to act so sassy like that? I didn't see that coming. I want my sweetheart back!...

I stop washing dishes to lecture her a bit about her attitude. She may not realize she's being rude, but she shouldn't say that to people. It's the kind of thing that would get her in trouble in school.

"But I don't say that in school."
"Good. Please don't say that at home either. OK?"
"OK, Daddy."

Just then she accidentally drops her juicy plum on herself. 

Oh, no! I dropped a plum on my shirt and my shorts! Look! Oh, no! What am I going to do?
"Blah, blah! Who cares!"
"Hey!"

I couldn't resist. ; )

Grumpy Sunday

At church a friend asked Sophia where Laura was.
"She's at home today because she's grumpy."

Haha! Yes, well, sometimes mommies and daddies really do need Sunday to be a day of rest...

Dream Deferred

S: Aww, I lost my dream.
Me: (teasingly) Where did you put it?
S: I don't know where it went.
Me: Check under your blankets.
S: No, it's not there.
Me: Check under you pillow.
S: It's not there either.
Me: Check in your closet.
S: I don't see it there...
Me: What happened to your dream?
S: It flew away into other children's dreams, I think...

Fun Five

"I was having so much fun that I forgot I was five!"

No Bully Zone

Me: Honey, don't keep playing with her if she's crying. You know the rule.
S: But she's supposed to be crying, I'm pretending to be a bully.
Me: No.
S: Okay.

Pollipop

S: Daddy, my pollipop (sic) fell on the ground!
Me: We'll wash it when we get in the house.
S: Daddy.
Me: Yes?
S: I accidentally licked my pollipop.

Yes, that's another way to wash it.

Like Whoa!

Laura's Post:

S: (sprawling on a chair) I feel woe!
Me: (thinking that is an advanced word for a five-year-old) Really?
S: I feel whoa like a cool dude!

(You can guess which movie we just watched.)

Seesick

Laura's Post: 

S: I don't like that video Daddy keeps playing.
Me: Because it's of Thalia and not of you?
S: No, because I am getting seasick.
Me: How are you seasick?
S: Because I am seeing it too many times!

Family Standards

Laura's Post:

Sophia baked her first pie, made a toolbox, watched the parade, high-fived Carter, and ran in her first fun run today. 
What was her favorite part? The popsicle. It was green. 
I tried to get her picture with her race medal, but she said, "I'm not that kind of family."

A Very Cherry Birthday

Laura's Post:

Sophia has NO idea how lucky she is to have been born during Traverse City's Cherry Festival. No fireworks this year, but she's had fire engine rides, stomp rockets, Moomers ice cream sundaes, a magician, foam darts, and an impromptu playdate with an old friend. 
Not a bad party for $6. 
We can never move.

Fair...Oh!

Downtown Traverse City during the annual Cherry Festival:

S: Look! It's a pharaoh!
Laura: No, it's a fair.
S: No, it's a pharaoh!
Laura: It's called a fair.
S: Pharaoh! Look!
Laura: Oh, you're right! It is a pharaoh at the fair!...

Treasure Trove

Me: I have to clean the bathroom next.
S: Good, because it's a pigsty! It's so gross! I can't stand it!
Me: A pigsty? Honey, your room has been a pigsty until you cleaned it today. How can you stand that!
S: I don't think my room is a pigsty. I like to pretend it's my treasure, and I am sleeping in a treasure room.
Me: Haha, I see. Like a dragon's lair or a pirate's cave, and you're surrounded by treasure?
S: Yes, like a pirate's cave, and I'm a genie...

Well, Genie, grant me a wish, please, and tidy up a bit more!

Robbers

Laura's Post:

"Do you know how to tell if someone is a robber? I know it's not ALWAYS because they wear a black shirt. You can tell they are a robber because of the big sack they carry."

Wishful Thinking

S: I wished a wish upon a wish stamp today, but I didn't get what I wished for.
Me: What did you wish for?
S: I wished that I could eat all the candy that I want without getting sick.
Me: That's a good one. Let's see how that goes...

A Heart Crime

S: Why do people get married?
Laura: Why do you think?
S: Because they love each other?
Laura: Yes, but you have to be careful that you marry someone who is a good person, otherwise you'll be very unhappy.
S: How did you know that Daddy wasn't a robber?...

(But I was a robber. I stole her heart! Haha...)

VBS

Me: Are you ready to have fun at VBS?
S: Yes. I can never remember how to say VBS and GBS.
Me: You mean GPS.
S: Yes, GVS.
Me: No, we use the GPS to get to VBS.
S: GBS to get to VBS....
Me: No, the GBS... oh, never mind! We're here already. 

The Quicker Picker Upper

Me: Finish cleaning your room, please.
S: What if I'm naughty?
Me: What do you mean?
S: What if I just hide everything under my bed? Will I get in trouble?
Me: Nooo, you wouldn't do that.
S: What if I did that?
Me: Are you going to do that?
S: No, but what if I did that?
Me: I wouldn't do that if I were you.
S: Would I be in trouble?
Me: What do you think?
S: Yes?
Me: That's a good guess!
S: So can I hide things under my bed?
Me: No.

(She could have picked up all the toys in the time in took to have this conversation!)

Happy Father's Day Treasures

Sophia presented to me my two favorite gifts for Father's Day: 
a Book and Cash!

Banana

When we first arrived in Chicago to visit the Spanish speaking side of the family, Sophia suddenly realized that she was in unfamiliar territory. She stood there in my tia's kitchen silently taking the experience in. Then with wide eyes she looked up and whispered to Laura, "I don't know many words in Spanish, but I know banana."

Goldfish

Shouting from the kitchen:
S: There's a goldfish! There's a goldfish!
She runs into the living to where I'm sitting:
S: There's a goldfish in the kitchen!
Me: Uh, silverfish.
S: There's a silverfish!...

(I'd prefer it were a goldfish.)

Divine Design

Laura's Post:

Sophia: (walking in wearing Mark's shirt and a pair of leggings draped over her shoulder) "Do I look like God?"


Not really prepared for the historical or theological discussion on the first day of vacation BEFORE coffee. It's going to be a fun summer!...

Knock, Knock...Moo!

S: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
S: Interrupting fish.
Me: Interrupting...
S: Moo!
Me: Moo? Fish don't say moo!
S: It's an interrupting fish cow. I made it up.
(I don't open my door for interrupting fish cows.)

Africa

Laura's Post:

Watching David Attenborough's amazing Africa documentary:

Me: Sophia, are you OK watching the giant carnivorous cricket eat the baby bird?
Sophia: (nonchalant) Yes.

She watches the scene unfold with calm and happy concentration while I get deeply traumatized. But we can't watch any movies with snowmen because the suggestion of melting causes trauma and heartbreak?

Is there a manual?

Tug-a-What?

"We played tug of walrus at school today!"

Help These Days

Laura's Post:

This afternoon while working in the garden:

Laura: Sophia, can you help me spread the soil?
S: No, I'm busy right now with my business (an imaginary bakery), but I can send you two girls, an older one and a younger one...But, you know, they can't do any work. They're imaginary...