Laura asked me to talk to Sophia this morning on the way to school about the mean boys who were making fun of her "Big Sister" shirt and her boyish haircut. Sophia now wants to get rid of her shirt, grow her hair longer, and wear pretty hair clips so they won't tease her. She's free to do that, of course, but what she really needs is strategies for dealing with mean boys in the long term:
Me: Did you know that those boys are playing a game with you?
S: A game?
Me: Yes. They think it's fun to make you mad on purpose. It's a terrible game to play, isn't it?
S: Yes.
Me: Do you want to know how you can win the game?
S: Yes!
Me: Can you guess how?
S: By not getting mad?
Me: Yes! Don't let those boys win by getting mad. They love to make you mad. They think it's funny. I know that because I used to act like those silly boys and be mean to girls. But don't let the boys win, OK? Instead of getting mad and yelling at them, try to ignore them and find a friend that you can be happy with! If you ignore them and be happy with your friends, then you win the game and the boys lose! Can you do that?
S: Yes.
I asked Sophia to repeat the rules of how to win the mean boys game. I wanted to follow up with her after school to see how it went. But before I let her get out of the car, I emphasized an important rule:
Me: If anyone tries to hit you or kick you or even touch you when you don't want them to, you need to say right away, "Stop it, or I'll tell the teacher!" Just say it one time. If the boy or girl bothers you again, tell the teacher right away about what happened, OK?
S: OK.
Me: Tell me after school who won the game, OK?
S: OK.
After school, Sophia excitedly reported that no boys teased her today, but she won the game two times when two different boys during lunch kicked at her. She told them to stop then told the teacher and they got in trouble and stopped bothering her!....
Yes! Girl power! Mean boys better watch out....
