Tiger Mom!

At bedtime tonight:
Laura: Tigey says he's tired and wants you to get into bed.
Sophia: Tigey is very special to me. I don't want you to say that because he's not tired! I mean she because she's a girl!...
(Moral: Never put words into a Tigey's mouth when its mama is around!)

The Snowman

Laura's Post:

Sophia was entranced by The Snowman. It was a beautiful scene. 

Then we got to the "Walking in the Air" part of the movie, and she suddenly remembered the ending: 

"Waaaaaaaaaah! I don't like this movie. I don't want him to meeeeelt!" 

Pure trauma, panic, and meltdown!

So much for making sweet sentimental movie memories...

My Unworkable Wake Up

Early Saturday morning:

Sophia: Daddy! Daddy!

Me: (silence)

Sophia: Daddy?

Me: (silence)

Sophia: This is unworkable...unworkable.

Me: (silence)

Sophia: Daddy, it's time to wake up!

Me: (silence)

Sophia: Are you up?

Me: Yes....

(When I say yes, I mean no, but three year olds don't believe in Saturday mornings in bed....)

Not Quite Mama

While in the shower this morning, I hear the bathroom door open:

Sophia: Mama! Mama! 
Me: Hi.
Sophia: Oh, not quite Mama.

(Yes, my name is Daddy, a.k.a. "Not quite Mama," but that's ok because no one is ever quite like Mama : )

Picking Baby Names

Me: Do you have any baby names for a boy or a girl?
Sophia: Yes, Fluffy.
Me: Fluffy?!
Laura: Is that for a girl?
Sophia: Yes.
Laura: What about for a boy?
Sophia: Softy.
Me: You know we're having a baby, not a puppy, right?

Postscript, 12/05/14:

Baby Rozeboom (now christened "Hannah" by Sophia instead of "Fluffy") is moving into the second trimester with two arms, two legs, a head, and Santa boots. Still hoping for fingers and toes.

2/1/2015: Sophia's Top Names for the Baby (so far):

1. Elsa (a la Frozen)
2. Madeline (as in the children's book series)
3. Cinderella (because why not)
4. Rainbow (we don't watch My Little Pony, so we're guessing her preschool friends suggested it)
5. Dora (the Explorer)
6. "Fluffy" and "Softy" have fallen behind in the rankings somehow.

I want to avoid Sophia becoming too emotionally invested in any name, so I explain to her that we as parents get to name the baby.

Sophia explains in response, "No, I will name it."

I say that we are open to her suggestions, but we'll make the final choice, and some day she can name her own babies anything she wants to.

She disrespectfully disagrees...

6/24/15

Sophia's sister Thalia Faith was born today at 7:29 a.m., 8 lbs, 3 oz., and is healthy, hungry, and feisty! : ) (Sophia is disappointed that her other chosen names, Rainbow Cloud and Princess Sparkles, didn't make the cut. We promised her that she can call her sister any nice name she wants, but just remember that her sister will someday be choosing names to call her, too ; )

Potty Mouth

Sophia: I'm going poop on the potty.

Me: Yes, you are.

Sophia: I can say poop because I'm in the bathroom.

Me: Yes.

Sophia: It's not polite to say poop and pee when you're not in the bathroom.

Me: Yes, it's best to not say that in public.

Sophia: Poop, poop, pee, pee, poop, pee, poooop, poopy, poop, pee...

Me: Okay, honey, are you ready to go back to bed?

Sophia: Yes. (She takes a couple steps towards the bathroom door, then stops suddenly.) Wait just a minute: Poop, poop, pee. Ok, now I'm ready....

(Let's hope that's out of her system.)

Ocho Bar

Sophia discovers my unopened chocolate bar on my book stand:

Sophia: Can I eat this?
Me: Sorry, honey, but it's time for bed right now. I'll share it with you tomorrow. Ok?
Sophia: Ok, I'm going to bed now, but don't eat it because I want to share it with you.
Me: Ok.
Sophia: Don't eat it.
Me: Ok, I won't eat it all.
Sophia: Don't eat it all. I want to have some tomorrow, ok?
Me: Ok, honey. Good night...
Sophia: Don't eat it.
Me: I'll save you a bite. I love you. Good night...

(Somehow I get the impression she doesn't trust me alone with chocolate.)

Her first words the next morning:

Sophia: Did you eat all the chocolate?
Me: I saved you a bite, honey. Just for you.

The smile she gave me when she heard that I kept my chocolate promise made me feel like the greatest dad because, to be painfully honest, not eating that last piece of chocolate may have been the hardest decision I've made so far in our father-daughter relationship...

MRS Degree Planning

Laura: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Sophia: Married.
Laura: I hope you marry a nice boy. Will you let Daddy choose him?
Sophia: Yes.
Me: You need to finish college first!
(Why are we talking about this! Stressing me out....)

Hide and Seek

Me: Ready or not, here I come!
Sophia: (from under the dining table) I'm over here!...

(She knows the rules of this game. She just can't stand the suspense of waiting to be found:)

Backseat Driver

Sophia: Why do you always drive the car? You never let me do anything!
Laura: You can drive when you're 16.
Sophia: How many are you?
Laura: 34.
Sophia: Tigey is 34. He can drive, too....

(Sorry, I would need to see Tigey's driver's license before I'd be comfortable with handing over the wheel...)

Voting Day Decree

Sophia: Where are you going?
Me: I'm going to vote.
Sophia: What does vote mean?
Me: Voting is when people pick a leader.
Sophia: Why? We don't need a leader here. There's only three of us in our house: you, me, and Mommy....
(Says our self appointed queen for life....)

Have A Happy Hollow Candy Bucket Day!

Laura's Post:

Is it bad that we have to restock Sophia's candy bucket already?
—feeling guilty.

Hint: It's a Baby!

My wife and daughter get back from their trip to the mall:
Sophia: Guess what I have in my bag!
Me: Give me a hint.
Sophia: It's a baby!
Laura: That's not a hint! Let Daddy guess what's in the bag. Give him a clue like, "It needs a diaper change" or "It likes to cry."
Me: So what's your hint?
Sophia: It's a baby!....

Un-naked

Sophia: Daddy, I'm un-naked. That means I have clothes on.
Me: Do you mean clothed?
Sophia: Clothed? No, un-naked....

Tiger Hungry!

Me: Are you hungry for breakfast?
Sophia: Yes, I want to eat breakfast. I'm going to change into a tiger now so I can eat all the food in the kitchen!