A Christmas Review

Laura's Post:

Sophia to me this morning, BEFORE coffee:
"Well, that wasn't the best Christmas."

It's amazing any children make it to adulthood.

"Christmas Break" Break

Me: Mommy's taking a nap right now. She needs a break from all of us.
Sophia: Sometimes she needs a break even from her own husband...

The Season for Giving

"If you're missing stuff, check with Sophia first before you start looking everywhere. She's been wrapping anything she can find for Christmas..."

Baby Camel

Laura's Post:

It's a camel!
No. It's a pony.
It's a camel!
It's a pony. 

It's so small.
Yeh! It's a baby camel...

There is no zoo in Traverse City

Healthyish

I explained to Sophia why I wear a CPAP at night:

Me: ...so I don't snore anymore and I sleep better and I'm a lot healthier.
Sophia: (cautiously) Then why don't you...look...healthy?
Me: What do you mean?
Sophia: Uh. You're so...big.
Me: Okay, that's a different kind of healthy than what I'm talking about!
Sophia: (shrugs) Okay...

It's just my winter weight!

Sunday School Sinner

Teacher: Okay. When you're ready, you can sit on the blue circle.
Sophia: Did you say "sin"?
Teacher: I hope not!

I Do Déclair

I celebrate the end of our shopping trip at Meijer by opening a small box of mini éclairs to share with my girls, Daddy's little helpers. 

A toddler near us whines to her mother about wanting a donut.

"No, honey, we're not getting donuts."

"But why is she eating a donut?"

"Because she's shopping with her daddy."

The mother definitely meant for me to hear her say that.
I look at the mom and mouth apologetically, "Don't tell Mommy!"

She gives me a weary "Thanks for that" look and strolls away with her whimpering daughter with the sad eyes...

I can't say I feel bad about that. Too busy eating yummy éclairs with my happy-eyed children... ; )

Playing School

Laura's Post:

Sophia and Thalia have been playing school all evening, which mostly consists of Thalia being sent to the office. 

I overheard, "You can stay here and read this book until your parents come get you. You may NOT spit in the teacher's face!" 

Time for bath, I think.

The Principal's Office!

Laura: Sophia, did you tell Daddy that you got sent to the principal's office today?

Me: Really?

Sophia: Oh, yeah. I got sent to the principal's office today.

Me: What did you do!

Sophia: I didn't get sent to the principal's office for doing something bad! I did something good!...

They tricked me, those stinkers! Apparently, Sophia's booklet was so impressive that she earned a trip to the main office to read it aloud to the headmistress. Nicely done!

A Lurking Lion

"Somebody's following me. I feel like somebody's following me. I think it's Aslan. But I turn around and there's nobody there!"

GT 911 may need to put out an alert that there's a lion loose on the TART trails!

The Cupholder

As I unbuckle the baby from her car seat, I notice that her clothes are all wet with water. No wonder she has been crying in the car the past five minutes!

Me: Sophia, why is the baby all wet?
S: Because she spilled my drink all over herself.
Me: Why did the baby have your drink?
S: Because I was going to pass it to Thalia.
Me: Were you using the baby as a cupholder?
S: Yes.
Me: Please don't use the baby as a cupholder.
S: OK.

Tooth Fairy

Laura's Post:

Asked Sophia about the tooth fairy to get a sense of her expectations.

S: I know the tooth fairy is real. Not like Tinkerbell. Because parents and kids talk about her all the time.
Me: What does she bring?
S: Maybe a toy or candy or gold or a maraca shaped like a tooth.

Not exactly helpful.

The Grandpa Argument

At the park, Laura and I are enjoying a moment together while the kids are playing:
S: Daddy, come with me! (She starts tugging at me.)
Me: I will, honey, but I'm talking to Mommy right now.
S: Come with me! You need to spend more time playing with your children before we grow up so fast!
Me: (I glance at Laura and mutter) Wow, that's a hard one to argue against! 
S: (smugly) Before you know it, you're going to be a grandpa!

No News is Good News

S: Why do you like to watch the news so much?
Me: I like to know what's going on outside of our house.
S: You could go outside and look!
Me: I mean way outside like around the world.
S: (eye rolls) You don't need to do that!...

Long story short, we went out to play. That's the best news we had all day!

Whoopsie Daisy!

Sophia is excited about joining our local Daisy troop, but she expressed serious concern about having to sell Girl Scout Cookies: "What if I eat them all?

The School of Hard Knocks

How was your first week of school?
S: It was great!
Did you read?
S: No.
Did you write?
S: No.
Did you do math?
S: No. We polished shoes and learned how to dust....

Young Love on the Prairie

In season 3, episode 2, of Little House on the Prairie, there's quite a romantic scene between Mary Ingalls and John Edwards as he proposes marriage to her. She says yes and gives him a warm hug and kiss. 

I look over at Sophia to see what she thinks about all this mushy stuff. It's hard to tell with her huddled down on the floor giggling and her face buried into the carpet...

Me: Sophia! Why aren't you watching! It's not like it's scary!
S: It's too much lovey-dovey stuff!

Later in the show they get romantic again. Sophia grins big in embarrassment, says "Geez," then climbs onto my lap for safety in my arms... 

Pa Ingalls consents to Mary getting married as long as the beau waits a year and a half for her to turn fifteen...

Fifteen? Fifteen! I'm horrified! That is some scary stuff! It sure was a different time back then...I have to say that I take extra comfort in holding my six year old tightly right now and for the next fifteen years, at least! Geez!...

Gymnastics Training

Laura: Sophia stop bouncing on your bed!
Sophia: But how am I going to practice for Gymnastics! We don't have a trampoline!...

The Rules of Photography

Sophia informed me there is always a kissing picture, a serious picture, and a silly picture at parties. Who is teaching her this stuff? Strawberry Shortcake University online?

Strawberry Shortcake 101

Laura's Post:

Sophia: "I watched TWO Strawberry Shortcake episodes today!"
Me: (groan)
Sophia: "No, Mama. We learned a lesson."
Me: (skeptical teacher stare) "Yes?"
Sophia: "I leaned you shouldn't treat...
Me: (hopeful) "People badly?"
Sophia: "No! You shouldn't treat rockstars like rockstars all the time because they get tired of all the people all the time!"
Me: (palm to forehead)

Hard to Get

We've been trying to get ahold of Bita all day via Facetime:

Sophia: Why is it so hard to get ahold of Bita?
Me: Maybe she has a hard time keeping her phone charged or losing it.
Sophia: Why did Grandpa marry her then?
Me: Hahaha!...

The Disappearing Coin Trick

Sophia performed her first magic trick for Laura tonight. She had practiced it quite a bit today with me and Thalia to get the illusion just right. Success! The coin disappeared and Laura was very impressed, but then Thalia excitedly ran up to the prop table and exposed the secret! 

In two seconds, Sophia's expression shifted from triumph to shock to fury...

I quickly whisked her to another room to pacify her before she harmed her little sister for the cardinal sin of revealing the magician's secret... 

A hug, a kiss, a little Dove chocolate...Voila! The tears disappeared! 
Daddy's best trick ever, haha...

Bicycle Accident

Sophia's first bicycle accident happened today when she wiped out and faceplanted on the Civic Center bike path at the bottom of a big hill. The doctor and the dentist said she'll be fine but to stay away from hard foods like apples and corn on the cob until her slightly loosened front teeth heal back up. Her one question to the doctor was an urgent "Can I eat ice cream?" The doctor thought that was a good idea, so under doctor's orders we went to Culver's to numb the pain with a mint shake.

Sophia: Does the Tooth Fairy still give money to kids who lose their teeth?
Me: Yes, I think so.
Sophia: The Tooth Fairy must be very rich.
Me: Yes, rich enough...

Squeaky Clean

While giving Baby Freya a bath:

Sophia: Mommy, when I squeeze the baby, she makes a noise.
Laura: Uh, that's not the kind of thing a mother wants to hear! Haha...

New rule: No squeezing the baby, please. Thank you for your cooperation.

The Thirsty Analogy

"Daddy, can I have some apple juice? I'm as thirsty as people who live in the desert who didn't bring any water."
Her analogy is too on the nose, but it got the job done.

The Cost of Having a Baby

Sophia: Daddy, why does it cost money to have a baby?
Me: Well, the hospital helps us deliver the baby, then they ask us to give them money for doing that.
Sophia: What if you don't have any money?
Me: I guess you might get in trouble somehow if you don't pay any money.
Sophia: I have some chocolate coins...

Vampire Fashion

She overheard Laura talking about empire waists when they were shopping yesterday...

"Mommy, does my dress have a vampire waist?"

Bubble Wrap Love

While in a hurry to get our family out the door:

Laura: Sophia, go use the bathroom right now before we go.
S: Not right now. I'm doing something important.
Laura: What's important?
S: Popping bubble wrap.
Laura: Sophia!...

The Art of Cursing

Today Sophia showed Laura her first attempt at writing cursive in school. 
She called it her cursing writing...
Me: What's cursing mean?
Sophia: It's like writing your ABCs but like this (she draws in the air)
Me: Oh, you mean cursive.
Sophia: Yes.
Me: Do you like cursive writing.
Sophia: Yes!...
I'm so glad that cursing isn't a defined vocabulary word for her yet. 
We'll hang onto that innocence a bit longer...

The Mean Boys Game

Laura asked me to talk to Sophia this morning on the way to school about the mean boys who were making fun of her "Big Sister" shirt and her boyish haircut. Sophia now wants to get rid of her shirt, grow her hair longer, and wear pretty hair clips so they won't tease her. She's free to do that, of course, but what she really needs is strategies for dealing with mean boys in the long term:

Me: Did you know that those boys are playing a game with you? 
S: A game?
Me: Yes. They think it's fun to make you mad on purpose. It's a terrible game to play, isn't it?
S: Yes.
Me: Do you want to know how you can win the game?
S: Yes!
Me: Can you guess how?
S: By not getting mad?
Me: Yes! Don't let those boys win by getting mad. They love to make you mad. They think it's funny. I know that because I used to act like those silly boys and be mean to girls. But don't let the boys win, OK? Instead of getting mad and yelling at them, try to ignore them and find a friend that you can be happy with! If you ignore them and be happy with your friends, then you win the game and the boys lose! Can you do that?
S: Yes.

I asked Sophia to repeat the rules of how to win the mean boys game. I wanted to follow up with her after school to see how it went. But before I let her get out of the car, I emphasized an important rule:

Me: If anyone tries to hit you or kick you or even touch you when you don't want them to, you need to say right away, "Stop it, or I'll tell the teacher!" Just say it one time. If the boy or girl bothers you again, tell the teacher right away about what happened, OK?
S: OK.
Me: Tell me after school who won the game, OK?
S: OK.

After school, Sophia excitedly reported that no boys teased her today, but she won the game two times when two different boys during lunch kicked at her. She told them to stop then told the teacher and they got in trouble and stopped bothering her!....

Yes! Girl power! Mean boys better watch out....

Pre-Mother's Day Gift

Laura's Post:

Sophia gave me a wrapped gift at bed time tonight and said: "I gave you a present because I knew you were grumpy, and if I gave you a present I wouldn't be in trouble..."

The Butterfly Cycle

Sophia: Daddy, can I make a butterfly cycle for you?
Me: Yes. What's a butterfly cycle?
Sophia: A butterfly cycle is when a butterfly comes to life from an egg to a caterpillar to a cocoon to a butterfly and then the butterfly lays more eggs all over again and that's a butterfly cycle.
Me: Haha! I thought you meant a bicycle for butterflies!
Sophia: No! I didn't mean a butterfly bicycle! I meant a butterfly life cycle made out of Play-Doh!

I'm impressed! But now I feel the need to see a butterfly riding a cycle!...

BooBoo Visits

Sophia is reading to me a bedtime story about BooBoo the blue gosling. As she reads, I follow along word for word with my index finger, pausing at difficult words until she can pronounce them correctly:

Sophia: "BooBoo vis - sits... vis - sits... Visits. BooBoo visits. BooBoo visits. BooBoo visits." Daddy! Why aren't you moving your finger!

Me: Sorry. I fell asleep...

Sugar Crash

Me: Are you taking a nap?
S: Yes.
Me: Are you tired?
S: I'm just having a sugar pour.
Me: A sugar crash?
S: Yes, a sugar crash...

Too Much Chocolate?

Laura's Post:

Sophia: I don't really like these brownies. The chocolate is too strong...

We will be repeating this recipe many times

Also, maybe a DNA test is in order.

April Fools!

Inexplicable Madness

At breakfast this morning:
S: Daddy, I'm really, really mad right now.
Me: You are?
S: Yes, I'm really mad.
Me: How come you're so mad?
S: I don't even know!
Me: Then how come you're smiling?
S: I'm mad on the inside, not the outside.
Me: Eat your pancakes. Maybe that will help.
S: No, it's not helping. I'm still mad...

The next day at lunch:
Me: Why do you look so sad?
S: I'm not sad. I'm happy.
Me: But you look sad.
S: I look sad on the outside, but I'm happy on the inside!
I never know what's up or what's down with this girl!...

Row, Row, Row Your Boat!

Laura's Post:

Practicing for her first performance at the Montessori Arts Fair this week. "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" duet with a boy (who hasn't been brought home and introduced). 
This is all moving very fast

Shush Yourself

Sophia: Shhh.

Me: What?

Sophia: Nothing.

Me: Why did you say "shhh"?

Sophia: Sometimes if you have to judge someone, you just have to judge yourself...

You are wise beyond your years, child...

Google It

We've been reading the Little House on the Prairie series the past couple of years. Anytime we have run across something unknown to us, like a farming tool or a recipe or a tree, plant, or animal that we've not heard of, Sophia or I will suggest that we Google it so that we can learn more about it. It is often a fun and informative distraction from our readings. 

For example, we've recently watched a fascinating documentary about farmers using modern science to fight against locust plagues to help inform our readings about locusts ruining the Ingalls farm in On the Banks of Plum Creek. 

The other day, I took out the treadmill to exercise. I first explained to Sophia that she mustn't come near the rotating tread because it's too dangerous. "Can you Google it to show me why it's dangerous?" "Good idea, honey." 

I found an age appropriate collection of video clips of folks not being careful on a treadmill. "Do you see why I don't want you to be near the treadmill, honey?" "Yes."

Today I called Sophia into the kitchen to teach her about the garbage disposal. I explained to her that I never want her to put her hands in the opening because it has sharp teeth to chop up food into bits and pieces that can flush away down the pipes. I opened the baby-proofed cabinet doors under the sink to show her what the garbage disposal looks like.

"See, honey? That's what it looks like. It's pretty big, isn't it? Remember that it is very important not to put your hands in the garbage disposal. OK? I don't want you to lose your fingers." 

"Can we Google people losing their fingers in the garbage disposal?"

"No."

Sister Bath Time!

The girls are supposed to be having a nice time in the bath together:

S: Daddy!
Me: What?
S: Thalia keeps kicking me and hitting me in the back! I told her to stop, but she won't stop kicking and hitting me! I feel like a slave in Egypt!...

The No! Trap

S: Do you like when people say no to you?
Laura: No. I don't really like that.
S: Do you like when people say no to you?
Pat: No, I don't like that.
S: Do you like when people say no to you?
Me: (sensing a trap) Well, I don't prefer it.
S: (staring me down with gotcha' eyes) Then why do you like to say no to me?
Me: Well, I don't prefer it! I prefer to say yes to you!
S: (with a slow nod and a shaming look) Then why do you like to say no to me?...

Haha! I knew it was a trap!

C-H-O-C-O-L-A-T-E

Laura: I have some C-H-O-C-O-L-A-T-E. Do you want some?
Me: Yes! I neeeed it!
Sophia: You have chocolate?!
Me: What? You can spell chocolate now?
Sophia: I knew it was chocolate because you said you needed it.

She exploits my weakness.

Piggy Bank

This afternoon, I pointed out the homeless man who has been living at our local park for many years. Sophia seemed to notice him for the first time ever: "Why is he there? Does he have a home? Is he cold?..." She was soon distracted by the neighborhood kids sledding down a hill because we were about to join them...

This evening on the way home, Sophia said, "When I saw the homeless man, my heart was broken. I want to get my piggy bank and take out all my money and give it to him. I want to help him."

If only our social ills could be resolved with one child's piggy bank! Thank you, honey, for reminding me to feel compassion for others who are less fortunate...

Parenting Assessment

Laura's Post:

Thalia loses her oversized boot in the snow and gets her socks wet.

Sophia: That's OK. You're not the worst parent in the world. You're still good at making muffins and stuff...

Daddy-Daughter Interview

The following questions and answers are excerpted from our very first annual daddy-daughter interview session. It was a fun way to get to know her better at this stage of her life:

What’s your favorite color? Red.

What’s your favorite meal? Fish and veggies.

What’s your favorite dessert? Cherry pie.

What do you like about school? When we do gym. Gym’s my best part. And lunch.

What do you know about love? That it’s kind and it’s giving. It’s caring. It’s joy. It’s peace. It’s nice to have around. And that’s it.

What do you like about Thalia? Sometimes that she understands what I say.

What do you like about Mama? That she’s nice and kind.

What do you like about Daddy? That you read to me books that I like, and that we don’t have to read them all over again. I like that they’re chapter books, and I get to take time looking at the pictures, and I get to hear what the whole thing says and that it’s a long book, which means I get to read it longer. And the exciting thing about ending a book is that we get to start a new book.

What do you like about yourself? I knew you were going to ask me that. I like that I can do more things than Thalia. I can do grownup things like eat ice cream.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be? For Mama to get a rest and stop being grumpy because that’s not really helping in the mornings. Because when I go to school, I usually have tantrums because of her grumpiness.

Do you have a dream you want to talk about? My only dream is to fly. That’s my only dream. That’s the greatest dream I ever had. How come? Because then I wouldn’t have to walk and tire my feet.

What do you think about the news and politics of today? Sometimes people get hurt.

What do you think about God? Good. Great. Loving. Peace. Fun to be with. Love

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Learn how to make toast for myself in the morning when I wake up.

What is your greatest regret? I was at Splash Pad and someone thought Thalia was a boy, and I should have said more than “She’s a girl.” I should have said, “She’s my sister.”

Which living person do you most admire? Can it be two persons? Yes. You and Mama. 

What is your motto? I can answer that question: Not hitting people so they don’t hit me; not shoving people so they don’t shove me; not throwing snowballs at people so they don’t throw snowballs at me because if someone threw snowballs at me I would get slippery and wet in my snow pants.

What’s a highlight of 2016? Did I go to Moomers last year?
Yes, you’ve gone every year since you were a baby. Then going to Moomers.

What’s your 2017 New Year’s resolution? I wish I could start knitting. We can make that happen for you!

Have a happy 2017 full of wisdom and grace, sweetheart!

Here's a link to all of my interview questions.

A Capital Offense

Laura's Post:

Sophia: Why do I have to use small letters all the time?
Me: Because we use the upper case letters for specific situations like names and beginning sentences.
Sophia: But it's not FAIR!! They are bigger, so they should be used more. The smaller letters get all the jobs. The bigger letters get nothing!...

I suspect we are not talking about penmanship anymore

Snow Angels