What Would Weird Al Do?

I hand my eager toddler an ice cream cone:
Me: What do you say?
Sophia: Eat it.

Taekwon-Don't

At Sophia's preschool, Laura observes toddlers practicing high kicks against a kicking pad. The teacher explains that they are practicing Taekwondo. Shortly after, while strapping Sophia into the car seat, Laura receives a kick in the face. Coincidence?

Divine Dancing

Me: Let's get your shoes on.
Sophia: Why?
Me: For church.
Sophia: I need my dancing shoes.
Me: For church?
Sophia: Yes.
Me: Why?
Sophia: For dancing.
Me: Ok, Sister Act.

Mmhmm

Sophia: Can I watch Daniel Tiger?
Me: (groggily) Mmhmm.
Sophia: Mmhmm? Did you say yes?
Me: Mmhmm.
Sophia: Mmhmm...Haha. I said yes too.
(I relish her joy of simple discoveries...
Even at 6 a.m. on a Sunday morning : )

I Got You, Babe!

Sophia: I want you!
Me: (picking her up) I got you!
Sophia: "I got you, babe. I got you, babe.
     I got you to hold my hand
     I got you to understand...."
Me: Is Mama teaching you Sonny and Cher?
Sophia: Yes...
(Great. Now it’s on a mind loop.)

Ride of a Lifetime!

Me: You have to learn to trust your mother, honey. You'll live a much happier life that way.
Sophia: Nope.
(Oh, boy. We're in for a long ride...)

Daddy Detective Agency

Sophia: I'm taking my Band-Aid off now.
Me (noticing her pinprick sized cut): What happened to your finger?
Sophia: You cut me with the scissors.
Me: No I didn't, Sophia. Daddy wouldn't do that to you.
Sophia: Yes, you did. The scissors over there.
Me: Honey, Daddy didn't cut you with scissors. How did you cut yourself?
Sophia: The kids did it at preschool.
Me: Really? I don't think so.
Sophia: The teacher did it.
Me: I don't think so.
Sophia: Ok. I cut myself. I have to be more careful.
Me: That's what I thought...We have to keep an eye on you....

The Why Factor

Sophia: Where are you going?
Me: I'm going to school.
Sophia: Why?
Me: To work.
Sophia: Why?
Me: To make some money
Sophia: Why?...
Me: Ok, I know where you're going with this. You tell me why.
Sophia: I don't know why. You tell me why.
Me: Why?
Sophia: Because I don't know why.
Me: Why?
Sophia: Because I don't know why!
(Repeat this exchange several times with much laughter.)
Me: Is Daddy saying why too much?
Sophia: Yes.
Me: Do you want me to stop saying why too much?
Sophia: Yes.
Me: Good, I won't say why too much.
Sopha: Why? Haha!
(Sigh. The why stage has begun.)

A Freaky Friday Moment

Role reversal with Sophia while she’s on the potty:

Sophia: You're Sophia. I'm Mama. You want dinner?
Laura: Sure. Does that mean I have to go to bed?
Sophia: Yes. I tuck you in.
Laura: Then what will you do?
Sophia: I'm going to work. I have lots of work.
Laura: Mama!
(Sophia giggles.)

Happy Pi Day!

On the way to pick me up for our family date to GT Pie Company for a free slice of pie, Sophia tantrums, "I want Dada! I want Dada!..." The moment I step into the car?..."I want pie! I want pie!..."

At GT Pie Company: a free slice of ABC pie for Pi Day, a free coffee with my customer loyalty card, a free kid's meal because they forgot to add it to my order, and a free public tantrum because we do not eat our pie until after dinner....

She and I spend quality time in the bathroom to let her wail it out. I keep barking at her to not touch the door handle because I am going potty, which makes her cry louder: "Let me open the door!"...

Laura says the whole restaurant heard us.

Seated next to us? Pastor Ted W Smith and his wife. Two tables down, celebrity Michael Moore....

A PBS Pronouncement

After watching a Daniel Tiger episode:
Sophia: I can't say PBS.
Me: But you just said it, honey.
Sophia: Oh...Just kidding! Haha!

Headline News Alert

Me: I'm going to watch the news.
Sophia: Ok. Don't fall down and bump your head. It hurts.
Me: Ok.
(She's right, you know.)

Besos con Quesos

Me: Do you like Daddy's kisses?
Sophia: Yes...and I like your cheesy tortillas.