Special Chocolates

Sophia: Daddy, this is a new bag of chocolates for my teacher. Just for my teacher. You can't eat them this time.
Me: I'm sorry about that. I really thought they were for me.
Sophia: No, Daddy!
Me: Mommy said she had bought a treat for me. I thought that was my treat.
Sophia: No! They were special chocolates just for my teacher! Don't eat them this time. Okay?!
Me: Yes, I got it. I must be sure to eat the special chocolates.
Sophia: Daddy! No! Don't eat the chocolates!
Me: Right. Don't not eat the special chocolates.
Sophia: DADDY!
Me: Okay, okay. I'll behave....
(She must be a really special teacher. Those were some tasty chocolates. I should know : )

Pink Lemonade

Don't drink the pink lemonade at our house. 

It's not pink lemonade. 

If you think it is and you drink it, 

My artistic daughter will only point at you 

And laugh and laugh unreasonably hard 

Until she falls to the floor from the weight of the hilarity...

And when I say You, 

I mean Me.