Her Business Plan

Laura asks Sophia to do something:
S: "I can't do that because I'm in the business of eating..."

Obfuscating the Painting

My daughter's bedroom door is smeared with faint swirls of white paint:

Me: Sophia, did you paint the door?
S: NO. Well, yes. I didn't paint the door with a paintbrush. Only with my hands... (proceeds to explain an elaborate scenario...)
Me: It was an accident?
S: Yes, I didn't mean to do it on purpose...

The Lilliputians

Why can't an exhausted daddy take a nap on the living room floor without being treated like a trampoline by his children? 

Eventually, they leave me alone and let me sleep while they play with their dolls.

When I awake...

Me: Why is there a green bowl next to my face?
S: The green bowl is there in case you have to throw up.
Me: Why would I have to throw up?
S: Just in case.

Then Baby Thalia hooks her sharp little fingers into my nose from behind and yanks me a couple of times as if to drag me across the carpet floor.

Me: OWWW!

S: How come you sound so grumpy, Daddy?
Me: Why am I so grumpy? Just, just let me wake up at my own pace and have a cup of coffee before I answer that!...

The Handling Man

At the park, Sophia commented on a man passing by with his baby in a baby carrier and his dog on a leash: 

"Look at that man. He is carrying a baby, AND he has a dog. He is handling all that AND his wife!"

Laura laughed uncontrollably...

The Hulk Baby

S: Daddy! Quick! Come here! It's an emergency!
Me: Coming!
S: No, don't come! It's not an emergency! Don't come!
Me: I'm coming!...What happened?
S: Oh, Thalia just tore the cabinet door off. She's not doing it anymore...
(I explained to Sophia that her instinct to call me when The Hulk baby makes an appearance is always the correct response.)

Seagull Hunting

Laura's Post:

Sophia and I are sitting on a bench at the Civic Center watching the birds and the golden sunset, feeling at peace with the world.

Sophia: (with a serene look on her face) I think I need to kill a seagull.
Me: What!
Sophia: Well I want to get some feathers, so I think the best way is to just kill the bird to get them. Uh huh. That will work.

Laura Ingalls Wilder strikes again. Sophia and Mark have been reading about hog slaughter this week. Turns out you can have too much pioneer spirit...

Wake Up, Big Sister!

Baby Thalia is up early.
Baby Thalia is bored.
Baby Thalia wants to play with big sister Sophia.
Baby Thalia climbs into big sister Sophia's bed.

Big sister Sophia just wants to be left alone to sleep in this morning.

Baby Thalia finds a bedside glass of water and pours it on big sister Sophia's blankets.
Big sister Sophia is up!
Baby Thalia is so happy!
Big sister Sophia is really, really mad!

Sleepy Daddy comes in to see what all the yelling is about.
Sleepy Daddy is trying not to laugh at the situation.

Sleepy Daddy and Baby Thalia go to the kitchen together to make toast and coffee so big sister Sophia can dry off and be in a better mood...